The European language of love – a recipe for finding Mr Right
A holiday on the Adriatic sounds like the perfect recipe for a summertime romance and for Vinko and Andrea it was definitely a great start. But
the story didn’t end there and soon became the start of a relationship that would change them both and the motivation to help others find the perfect partner without the need to cross continents.
What first attracted you to each other?
VA: On holiday in Dubrovnik, I finished morning yoga and headed to the pristine blue water of the beach. I approached Andrea to ask if he could look after my things while I got a bottle of water. He opened his warm hazel eyes and agreed, giving me a look that nearly knocked me
off my feet.
On my way to the beach bar I kept telling myself to behave and stay away from
this one, but it was not going to last for too long. Deciding a swim would help
me clear my head, I dove off the rocks and surfaced to face where Andrea had been lying. He had moved, taking position on the rocks and was doing a little dance before jumping into the water. As he surfaced, water dripped from his long eyelashes and thick hair – he was so handsome! I knew
that it was going to be impossible to stay away from him.
His warm eyes, dancing skills and very cute, penguin-like swimming style captured me that day. In the following days we had long conversations and I began to see the kindness in his eyes was reflected in his approach to life, he had a unique and wonderful mix of intelligence and innocence.
AZ: I was on holidays in Dubrovnik and the last thing on my mind was meeting
someone, but I guess it is true what they say, it often happens when you least expect it. I remember sun baking on the rocks and opening my eyes when a guy asked me to look after his bag while he went to the cafe bar. He kindly offered to bring me a coffee in return, I said no but something made me add that we should go together later and get one. When he came back we started to talk, a
conversation that continued for days. I was touched by his smile, eyes and the energy we had together, laughing endlessly, we both felt a strong desire to be together and I felt we could build a concrete future.
When Vinko returned home to Australia I stayed in Europe, where I lived at the
time. We kept in constant contact via email, telephone and Skype. We discussed
the challenges of changing our lives, how difficult it could be to leave it all behind and for me to move to Australia to be with him. But there was no other option. We would be lost without each other.
Why do you think your relationship works?
VA: We have to work on our relationship constantly. After all, you are talking about a Croatian and an Italian in the same room, both very passionate people, both headstrong. We have total respect for each other and acknowledge the huge changes we have made to our lives to be together. Our relationship works because we have old fashioned values and believe that you can work
through your issues and problems. We don’t sweep anything under the carpet, we talk about negative things as well as great things and work on being better people within ourselves and together. Andrea and I find out something new
about each other all the time and through this I grow to love him more every day. Our relationship works because we make it work; communication is the key to our success. We combine communication with intimacy, sex, love and laughter and approach every day together.
AZ: Because we support each other in every situation which creates strength
in our relationship and motivates us as we build our future together. We work
day after day to keep our connection and feelings alive for each other. To
overcome our very strong personalities and different cultural backgrounds we
work daily on making our relationship grow in the best way we can.
What are common mistakes men make when search for a long-term partner?
AZ & VA: Too many expectations – just let people be themselves. Many gay men are often too focused on finding a good looking partner. But a relationship built on the superficial won’t last, with time looks fade and the person inside becomes more important. People need to be open to building a relationship together, it should be a completion of two individuals, rather than the making of them. You need to respect each other’s boundaries through great understanding and trust. There are many phases of the love, after
several years the relationship stabilises and just as quickly becomes sporadic and then repetitive. To make it through each phase it is important to keep the trust and support each other.
What is your advice when preparing for a first date?
VA: One thing I say to our clients when going out on the first date is to approach it as if they were meeting a friend, it can be as simple as that and if the date goes in the right direction it’s a bonus. Andrea and I really focus on working with our clients to create a level of confidence and ease when it comes to approaching a first date. We take each client out individually into a dating environment and talk them through all areas of the date from dress to conversation. We practice what I call ‘Airplane Talk’ and how to take turns when engaging and listening to the each other. It may sound simple but the art of listening to what your date is saying and genuinely engaging with them can take a little practice. But in a short time the small talk will fall away and they will be laughing and sharing stories. We also recommend putting thought
into the location of your date. Saturday lunch can be great as it avoids the awkwardness that can come after a dinner date and the expectations of where the night goes. But it can be as easy as having a coffee, taking a walk in the park or including something you enjoy such as visiting a museum. It is amazing the difference the location of a date can make to its success and we assist all of our clients in choosing place that will help their date start on a
positive note. We also feel that it is important to avoid sex on the first few dates. This way you can make a rational decision on your connection and energy for the future possible partner. There is plenty of time to explore
all of this.
Date 1 was a huge success, now what?
AZ: Don’t be scared about trying to make a second date, I generally say do this as soon as possible and not let the positive feeling fall far behind, keeping the momentum between dates. A lot of people don’t have the self confidence to follow up after the first date and often this is happening on both sides so follow your intuition. Be the one to take action, confidence is attractive and positive!
You have nothing to lose and it can be as simple as a light follow up, along the lines of ‘I enjoyed our time together and would
love to see you again’. This step can be more intimidating than the date itself. Past disappointments can stop many from taking action, I like to think this is one area that we really help with, acting as a sounding board to help you turn intuition into action.
What’s the fastest way to kill a new relationship?
VA: Living your new relationship like you lived your last one; remember you are not in the old relationship any longer because it was not good for you. New relationship, new partner, new rules! Walking away from those who you love but are not right for your life is not always easy, so in your new relationship take fresh approach and a new start. With many of our clients we find that
simply being aware of mistakes made in the previous relationships can help towards a better understanding of yourself. By no means do we have all the answers but sometimes it helps to get an objective perspective to help you move forward for a fresh start. We want to help clients move into a relationship with open eyes and an open heart, learning to live with the things you can’t change with fun and lightness.
Is fighting healthy for a relationship?
AZ: This is an interesting subject that needs to be looked at with respect to each relationship. It is important to understand
“Meeting the right person is hard and we created Beau Brummell in the hope of making people happy, finding the love that everyone deserves in their lives.”
each other and if some form of fighting helps to have a better understanding of
each other, then yes it is healthy. It stops being healthy when there is no ability for change and greater understanding, when it gets to this stage it is damaging.
On the opposite side, swallowing your feelings can build resentment. Couples can silently head for disaster due to lack of understanding, love and complicity.
VA: This depends if you are an adaptable person or not! I like fire, passion and
change and am open to it. I like people sticking up for what they believe in, as long as there is respect towards each other. Often people mistake discussion for
fighting and I am sure the neighbors often
think we are fighting when we are only having a passionate conversation. I don’t want a boring boyfriend, but I also want to be respected and heard in the right way.
What sets BBI apart from other introduction services?
VA & AZ: Andrea and I tailor the way we work with each client individually, Beau Brummell Introductions understands our clients are busy people so we maximize our time with each client by getting to know them and forming a level of friendship so that we really understand what they look for in a partner.
Our clients are like-minded people looking for love and long-term commitment and we are patient and particular in how and who we introduce to each other.
Beau Brummell works because we are intuitive and supportive of people’s needs and wants. We are passionate about our clients and helping them on the journey to find a partner and fall in love. Beau Brummell Introductions creates
a nurturing environment to help the romantic experience, it’s not just about sex, a stereotype that has been driven with internet apps in the gay community. We help clients to stay focused on what made them come to us in the beginning. The Beau Brummell Introductions experience doesn’t discount the natural sexual attraction that comes from a successful date but we are passionate about creating unions built from friendship. A great foundation to a new relationship is being with someone who had morals and values that
mirror yours. We care about our clients and our reward is to see them happy and satisfied, making a life-long connection through Beau Brummell.
Meeting the right person is hard and we created Beau Brummell Introductions in the hope of making many people happy, finding the love that everyone deserves in their lives. We are born to share things, and it’s nice when you have someone special to share your life with.