We ask for a lot of things in our lives. We ask for the time if we are running late, or we ask the server if they can bring us an extra cup of ketchup for our French fries. Sometimes, we get what we ask for, and sometimes we don’t. You never know if you don’t ask.
Asking for help can be difficult sometimes. Asking for help means admitting you can’t do something on your own. But guess what? It’s okay to not be able to do something on your own. You’ve relied on other people throughout your life – probably more than you’ve realized!
Asking for help is common in all aspects of a romantic relationship!
Help with a match
Meeting people is hard! Even with the explosion of dating apps, finding the right person sometimes seems impossible. Maybe that’s because there are so many possibilities out there.
Finding someone through a matchmaker might seem like you are asking for help you don’t need – but everyone who ever couples up gets help finding their match. That help might be through a mutual friend, or from a job, but there is nothing wrong with using a proven resource to help you find love.
How to ask?
But how do you actually ask for help?
Well, if you don’t know how, start by acknowledging how you are feeling to yourself. Do you feel nervous or afraid or embarrassed to ask? Once you acknowledge that – tell your partner how you are feeling! Honesty is important, and if you try to hide your emotions, it will only make you feel worse.
A good relationship has two people who are okay with expressing their insecurities, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities. Needing help doesn’t even make you weak. It makes you human. And that is who your partner chose to be with!
Help from your partner
When you do find that match, and eventually partner, there will be plenty of instances when you will have to ask for help. You may not like the feeling of vulnerability or “weakness,” but it’s inevitable. And you should embrace it.
Avoiding asking for help doesn’t actually make you stronger. It shows you are too afraid of what someone will think. Plus, in the long run, it won’t end up being helpful. You’ll only end up sweeping all your issues under the rug, and eventually it will cause you to trip.
Help for your partner
Just like you should ask your partner for help, also remember that your partner may end up needing help. They might also be afraid to ask. Help create an environment where it is okay for them to ask for help. But how?
Don’t embarrass them when they ask you for help with something. Offer help before they even have a chance to have to ask. Help them with tasks that you know they need help with. The more you and your partner get to know each other, the more you will be able to recognize when the other needs help without the need to ask.