Expectations are a very common part of life. Our parents may have expected that we act a certain way, or accomplish specific goals.
“Be polite!”
“Say please and thank you.”
“Go to college.”
“Get good grades.”
Those expectations aren’t always bad. In fact, they can encourage us to accomplish great things and be good people. It can be a positive goal for us to reach for. At the same time, though, expectations can create stress. It can be a looming cloud that hinders us more than it helps. So, how do you find that balance? How do you make sure expectations work for you and
your partner?
…of a date
When you are on a dating app, expectations can be difficult. If you want to find a meaningful relationship with someone who you get along with, swiping and liking and tapping away can make that difficult.
If you partner with a matchmaker, though, you are able to tell them what you expect from a date and help them find a possible match for you. Of course, a matchmaker likely won’t get you the right person immediately, but being open about your expectations will make that process go a lot smoother.
…of a partner
We all have expectations of our partner. It’s not bad to have expectations! We should have expectations, because we all have ways we want to be treated. We should always be advocates of ourselves. At the same time, though, we need to make sure our expectations are fair
for the other person involved.
If you have expectations for your partner, make sure they are communicated – and that they are communicated early on. This will help you ensure that these expectations are fair. If you expect too much of your partner, it gives them the chance to let you know that your expectations may not be fair.
…from others.
While it’s okay to have expectations of your relationship, other people having expectations of your relationship can be a problem. Maybe they want you to get married or have kids, and while those things are good, if you’re not ready for them, that is one hundred percent fine.
Don’t let other people’s expectations effect your relationship. While you can listen to feedback, what other people want out of your relationship doesn’t matter. Because ultimately, your relationship is exactly that… your relationship.
…of your relationship
While your expectations are important, there are someone else’s expectations that matter: your partner’s. In fact, both people’s expectations should be considered.
Hopefully, your expectations end up lining up. When you’re in a relationship with someone, usually you’ve had enough time to understand that you both have enough in common that you want similar things from a relationship. But differences are inevitable. One of you might want to live in a big house, while the other might have the expectation to live in a nice location.
As long as you both communicate your expectations, though, you will be able to find common ground and make sacrifices to ensure that both of you are happy.
