What To Do When You Aint In The Mood /
One question that we’re asked more than any other is “How do I increase my sex drive when it’s just not there?”
Since the day we opened, this has been an issue that has plagued us, so with some brains put together we would love to share some keys to our turnaround.
First let’s ask, Why should we even care about having sex when we’re NOT EVEN in the mood.
Well, yes and no. Here’s why.
Because how you “do sex” is how you do anything.
It’s how you live your life. It’s how you serve others. It’s how you respect yourself. It’s how you are either ruled by your emotions, or you triumph over them.
Who you practice being in your most intimate life is a huge factor in how you truly see yourself.
Plus, if you are in a relationship, your life becomes shared with your partner by default. If you live a life based on your own mood then you’ll quickly find that you are not living in the joyful awareness of the power of giving your most intimate self. You miss out on the ecstasy of the deepest giving and receiving.
So why bother if you don’t want to? Because living according to our own lowest level of energy is contagious. When we fail to master our sex life, it can also become difficult to live in true victory in the more outward arenas of career and family.
Keep in mind, I’m not JUST talking about stirring up desire that isn’t there, I’m talking about focusing a sex drive that may be all over the place.
The point is to revive the passion in your own relationship.
1. Realize that a sexually energized state is your healthy normal state.
Have you ever seen an athlete performing flawlessly – making extremely difficult sports look easy? We often use the term “in the zone.” But in reality – “the zone” is simply the place of your full potential, minus all the interferences that try to throw off your game. It’s an addicting state -here you are at once completely present, relaxed and energized and loving what you are putting your mind to. Living in the present moment.
So Key #1 is to see your self as sexually confident and responsive.
2. Recognize the Interferences – and your power to master them
We more often than not tend to state that our partner is the reason that we have lost our sex drive…Or perhaps we figure low libido is just a mysterious problem we have – and our hormones are off. But in reality, our hormones are very much affected by our mindset.
Interference to a loving libido is in actuality, the negative energy that is created by our thoughts, beliefs and emotions. We can learn to master that energy through things like regular mediation and exercise.
3. Master your energy about sex itself.
Has simply the thought of ‘sex’ seemed too exhausting before? All of a sudden its more like work instead of pleasure. We have experiences that play into our story about sex. Again, it’s probably more unconscious than anything, but by tuning in to what you’re really feeling, you can recognize your emotions and change your state.
4. Master your energy about your own self-image
We live in a crazy kind of busy world that bombards us with messages of what is sexy, what is beautiful, what makes us worthy and unfortunately can leave us feeling not good enough to deserve any form of love or pleasure. It is impossible to consistently act in a way that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself, so it may be time to change the story about your own ‘sexiness’.
5. Master your energy about your mate.
It is easier to change your sexual response than to change your mate! When you acknowledge your feelings and accept yourself in spite of them, you can move closer to forgiveness, and a whole new way of seeing your mate. This is arousing. Trust us!