We were all taught to share from a very young age. Even before we started school, our parents taught us that the kind thing to do was to share our toys and other items with our friends or our brothers and sisters.
As we’ve grown older, sharing has become more complex than just our toys. As an adult, there is even more to share, whether that’s the physical items in front of us, or the more complex, abstract items that make adulthood so complicated.
How much should we share? Is it possible to share too much?
Your things?
If you have a couch, and your partner doesn’t, and the two of you end up moving in together, it makes sense to share that piece of furniture, right? After all, it wouldn’t make sense to have one big couch for just one person, and buying a whole extra couch would be a little expensive.
Sharing your things is a part of growing up, and when you start a relationship with your partner, part of starting your relationship with them involves letting some things go. You don’t have to let your things go entirely – but you should be okay with giving up total ownership.
Your finances?
Deciding whether or not to share your finances with your is a little bit more tricky than figuring out if you should share your blankets or towels. Finances can cause a lot of stress, and many relationships face problems because of them.
This is why it is so important to center the sharing of your finances on trust. Trust that your partner will do everything they can to make sure that you will both be alright. If you or your partner can’t trust the other to make financial decisions that are the best for both of you, then there are some serious discussions you need to have before sharing.
Your feelings?
Of course, you should share your feelings with your partner. Is it important to share everything with your partner, though? This can be difficult, because often it feels like sharing your feelings with someone will result in feelings getting hurt.
This is definitely true. Fights can happen if you share everything you’re feeling whenever you want to share it. This doesn’t mean you should not share your feelings, but consider the best time to share these feelings. If you’re upset in the moment, it might be best to wait to share annoyances, and wait for a time when this sharing can come across with more compassion.
Your secrets?
Secrets are like weeds. One or two might not be noticeable at first, but after a while, they build up. They choke and strangle even the most beautiful garden.
Even if you think your partner will never find out your secret, hiding things from your partner is never a good idea. Secrets demonstrate a lack of trust between you and the person you love, and if they do get found out, they can hurt. Often, it’s not the secret itself that hurts, but the fact that the other person was never told.
So, share with your partner – but consider what’s appropriate. Figure that out through communication.
