Your past is the past
There are many reasons why people have been hesitant to be in relationships. Maybe online dating hasn’t worked for them, or they have had difficult relationships, or they have been hurt by former partners. There is a lot of fear and uncertainty that comes with all of these, but don’t let them be an excuse.
If online dating hasn’t worked, there are other options, like partnering with a matchmaker. There are other people who won’t hurt you, like others have. While the past is real, it’s no longer here.
So…
Don’t get stuck by the past…
Your past has shaped you, there is no denying. Everything that has occurred in your life has led to where you are now. Where you went to school, who you decided to spend time with, and the companies you chose to work for (and quit from) have an undeniable effect on who you are today.
But that doesn’t mean you need to be stuck in that past.
Your past has already happened, so there’s no need to worry about the decisions you made. If you made a decision that wasn’t good for you, you can always make a new decision. The past is behind you, not under you, so…
…learn form it…
Not getting stuck in the past doesn’t mean you have to forget about it. In fact, you should acknowledge that it happened. There’s a balance between acknowledging it and letting it consume you.
If you made a bad decision a decade ago, or last month, or five minutes ago, think about that decision. Don’t make that same bad choice again. If you had a bad relationship with someone, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good relationship with someone else. In fact, now you are equipped with the knowledge to find the right person for you.
Embrace this knowledge of the past…
…so you can live in the present…
Living in the present might seem obvious. Unless you’re a time traveler, it’s impossible to live in the past. But living in the present is about more than just being in a specific time or place. Living in the present is about finding the correct mindset.
When you live in the present, you don’t focus on what has already happened – whether that’s good or bad. Living in the present means appreciating all that is currently around you, be that the people you spend time with, the home you live in, or the items you have.
Love who you’re with…
…and face the future.
Going into the future is hard – for everyone. It’s like entering a pitched black tunnel with zero visibility. How can you face something that you don’t know a thing about? It’s like facing an invisible enemy, or boxing with your eyes closed.
When you are with someone you love, though, you are not facing that tunnel or that other boxer alone. Your partner will be there to guide you with their voice, or to help you back up if you fall down. No one knows what the future holds, but that’s okay. Part of being in a relationship is facing the unknown together.
