The term “love language” originated from a 1992 book by Gary Chapman, and it is a term that has been discussed in depth ever since. There are five love languages, according to Chapman:
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Words of affirmation
Each “language” demonstrates a different way that someone prefers to show or experience love. This doesn’t mean that everyone will only experience love in one way, but it can be a helpful way to understand how you interact with your romantic partner.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOURS
Acknowledging your love language is important before you begin. Think about how you express love when you partner with a matchmaker. Letting them know how you experience love is helpful for them finding you a proper match. But figuring that out before a relationship is not the only time to do that.
Talk to your partner about how you experience romance. It may seem obvious to you, but sometimes, your partner won’t know how to love you if you don’t tell them. That’s one of the many reasons why communication is so important in a partnership.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PARTNER’S
Of course, don’t just talk about yourself, but you know that! When you talk, don’t just talk, but listen as well. Listen to what your partner has to say about their experience, and that includes how they experience love. You can’t truly love someone if you don’t listen to them.
When you acknowledge someone’s love language, it’s not just about knowing their experience – it’s about acting on that knowledge. Show them that you have listened by giving them what they need and desire when it comes to romance. Listening, after all, is an active skill, not a passive one.
ADAPT
Sometimes, your love language and your partner’s love language will be different… and that’s okay. In fact, having different love languages creates a beautiful, intriguing relationship. Differences, after all, can only make us stronger!
Adapting might mean changing a bit about how you interact with your partner. Maybe you hold hands more often than you usually would to help show your partner you love them. Maybe you use words of affirmation more often than you usually would. You don’t have to change everything about who you are, but make small adjustments to ensure that your partner feels love from you.
FIND A SHARED LANGUAGE
When you discover your and your partner’s love languages, you don’t necessarily have to view them as two separate types of love. Once you get to know someone, you can find ways that the two of you show love. Your new love language does not have to be limited to the five options listed above!
Be okay with experimenting and finding what works best for both of you. It doesn’t have to conform to how society views romance as long as it makes you happy. Once you find that language that is unique to you and your partner, you will discover a relationship that is truly special.
