Some things in life are guaranteed.
Sleep is guaranteed… eventually.
Death and taxes, though cliché, are guaranteed.
And you will make mistakes. That’s guaranteed.
Furthermore, it is inevitable that these mistakes will be made in a relationship, no matter how much you care about each other.
And please, don’t bother trying to find that person who won’t make mistakes. Even a matchmaker won’t find you someone like that. Why? Because that kind of person does not exist. Sorry. A matchmaker is meant to find you a real person, not perform a miracle and create an impossible human being.
So, what do you do when you or your partner do make mistakes?
As mentioned earlier, mistakes are inevitable. So, be okay with them. Tell yourself that you, and your partner, will not be perfect. This isn’t a negative reflection of your relationship, though. In fact, it proves that your relationship is real.
Embracing mistakes does not mean that you will never seek self-improvement, but it will help you learn graciousness. If you understand that you will make mistakes, then it can help you realize that your partner too will make mistakes. Accepting this will help you find forgiveness for one another.
Learn from them
Once you understand that you will make mistakes, it allows you to learn from them. Sometimes, you won’t realize you’re making a mistake until after you’ve made it. Sometimes, something will trigger a mistake. Learn what those triggers and mistakes are so you can avoid them in the future!
Once you learn, you must act. Just like a student takes uses their education in a career, you must use what you learn to improve yourself – and thus, your relationship. When you can, don’t make the same mistake twice, because doing so shows a lack of desire to support your partner.
Because mistakes are inevitable, you need to learn how to deal with them. Sometimes, that means giving your partner, and yourself, space. Mistakes can cause anger, which is why going on a walk, or a drive, or going to a different place in the house can help with healing.
The purpose of space is not to avoid conflict or mistakes, but to help yourself prepare to rectify them. Think about why you are angry, or about the mistake you made, and figure out how to rectify it. Maybe that means apologizing.
Once you have taken the time to make space, close that space and communicate. Talk about the mistake or mistakes that are made (because sometimes one mistake leads to another). Maybe one of you left the fridge open, which spoiled food, and the other got mad about it. What can both of you do differently? One of you can work to be more careful in the future, and the other can work to work on their reaction.
Mistakes will be made, yes, but that does not mean that your relationship has to be a mistake. Mistakes can help you and your partner grow together.