We don’t usually think about competition when we think about a relationship. That’s probably a good thing, for the most part. No one wants their future significant other to ask a matchmaker to find them someone who can beat them at chess, or someone who is slower than them.
But competition – the fun kind – can help make a relationship fun. As long as you approach it in a healthy way, competition can help keep your relationship alive and bring you closer together.
Unhealthy competition
We all probably know how competition can be harmful. Maybe you’ve gotten in a fight on the basketball court, or seen a friendship ruined over what should have been a friendly game. Competition can also occur when it shouldn’t at all.
Sometimes we face the desire to compete with others when it comes to our lifestyle – like if we post about our lives on social media to show his best. Maybe we brag about our job to feel like we are winning the “game” of life. If this sort of competition starts rearing its ugly head, reconsider how you are approaching your relationship.
It’s natural to want to be good at something, but when it happens at the expense of putting someone else (especially your partner) down, then it’s not about success – but about resentment. Seeing someone else do well should make you excited, not the need to one-up them!
Share hobbies
Finding friendly competition allows you and your partner to share each other’s hobbies. Maybe one of you likes videogames, or sports. Creating a competition out of it lets you appreciate one another’s hobbies, which is a great way to grow closer together.
When you share hobbies, you share a part of your partner’s life. Not only do you get to spend quality time with them, but you show your partner that you are interested in what they are interested in. When you do this, you demonstrate that you care about them. They may already know it, but everyone loves a reminder that they matter to the people they care about.
Spend time together
There are several ways to spend time with someone. You can sit there on your phone without speaking, passing the time without much real connection. And while this sort of thing can have its time and place, there are ways to spend time with someone that actually allows you to engage with each other and get to know each other on a deeper level.
This is where competition can come in! Have fun playing a game show every night, giving yourselves something to look forward to. Play a game on a road trip to help you pass the time. In this case, competition isn’t about winning against your significant other, or proving that you are better then, and it’s especially not about making them feel bad or not as good as you.
Competition is about fun. The stakes can be high, but don’t let it build resentment. Have fun with it and with each other
