Words Matter in Love

It’s not just in fantasy book – where simple incantations can shape water or alter the wind– that words have power. While you and your partner can’t control the elements with an ancient language (I’m assuming), you can change people’s days, moods, and even their lives simply with what you say.

Yes, sticks and stones will break bones – but words will never not have an impact. That’s why it’s so important to remember the magic that they have – for good or for ill – even if you’re not sawing your partner in half or pulling a bunny out of a hat.

Say what you mean

“Words will never hurt me” is true in the sense that a series of letters and movements of your tongue and vocal cords technically can’t harm you. But we, as humans, have added meaning to these words. Words are our feelings – and saying these words are actions that cannot be reversed.

This is why it’s so important to ensure you are saying what you mean. This means, for example, creating a space where lies are not the norm, but also creating a space where the truth isn’t regularly withheld. Our words – our true words – are honesty, and they are what help build trust.

Know the impact

As we said, words have impact. They reveal the truth, like when you let your matchmaker know through words about who you are as a person. They convey our feelings, like when we insult someone, and because they convey these feelings, they also create feelings in those whom we speak to.

So, even if you don’t intend to hurt your partner, consider how your words are comingacross. You may not mean for them to come out in an insulting way, but your partner may take them that way. That’s another reason why words are so important – because they help you understand where your partner is coming from.

Fix your mistakes

If your words do have a negative impact on someone, it may take more than just words to rectify the problem you’ve created. If, for example, your words make someone feel like they are not good at art, it might take more than simple apologies to make up for your insult.

How do you fix a problem you’ve caused with words, then? Well, if someone feels insecure about their art skills, one way to convince them that they are an artist could be to hang up a piece of their artwork. It’s an action, but it conveys the words your partner may need!

Remember the small words

When we think about the words that have an impact, we often think about the great words uttered in poetry or memorable music, or about the cruel words that cut to the core. But in many ways, it’s the small, everyday words that have the most impact. That’s because they add up!

So, when you think about the words that impact your relationship, remember the sweet nothings, or the questions at the end of a long day. Because sticks and stones may break bones, but words can save a relationship.

Mine-yours-or-oursBad Days