All by myself – loneliness in a relationship

The feeling of loneliness is about more than just not being around other people. While loneliness certainly hits when we live by ourselves, or get lost in the woods, it’s possible to be lonely even when surrounded by other people. In fact, sometimes loneliness is the worst when you’re not actually alone – because the crowd around you just reminds you of your feeling that you don’t have anyone.

Loneliness can even strike when you are in a relationship – and it’s okay to admit that. So, how do you deal with that feeling when it comes your way?

Your feelings are normal

It’s important to start off by mentioning that it’s okay to be lonely, even if you are in a relationship. Feeling lonely doesn’t mean your partner is a bad person, or that you shouldn’t be with your partner. Loneliness can strike for a variety of reasons.

Your mind is unique, believe it or not. Sometimes, it may feel like you exist all by yourself, as no one, not even your partner (unless he is Professor X) can know what you’re thinking. This can lead to feelings of isolation – the feeling that you’re stranded on an island of your mind, even if you’re living in a big city.

One is not enough

As great as your partner is, it’s okay to admit that they aren’t enough. Now, before you stop reading, understand this – your partner alone is not enough. Even those with the best partners have other friends, or family members, or coworkers. Even if it’s not a person, we all have hobbies outside of our significant others.

So, loneliness may not even be loneliness from your partner. It may occur because you don’t feel like you have other friends you can rely on, or because these relationships aren’t fulfilling. A matchmaker, after all, only matches you with one person – they can’t be the cure-all for all forms of loneliness.

What to do?

There isn’t one single way that will help you get rid of loneliness, but it is important to remember to be honest about it. Be honest to yourself. Maybe you are lonely because you stay inma lot, or don’t take the time to reach out to the people in your life. If this is the case, take the steps to rectify it. Take the time to text or call your friends and family members. Go to the local bar or coffee shop and meet new people!

If you are feeling lonely in your relationship, this can be really hard to admit. But it is crucial that you talk to your partner about. Don’t let that loneliness fester, like it’s a gross vegetable at the back of your fridge. Tell them how you feel, but without making them feel like they are the bad guy. It’s very possible that your feelings are caused by both people in your relationship – you and your partner. Figure out how you can feel safe and not alone – and figure it out together.

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