Fire has helped give humans life since the time we lived in caves and hunted wooly mammoths. It may seem like a simple thing now that we can create a flame with the click of a finger or the strike of a match, but if you’ve ever tried to start a fire without modern tools, you’ll know how hard it is to start one – and how hard it is to keep that fire going.
Your relationship is a fire – and not just because it can give off heat. It’s a delicate process that requires time, effort, and attention.
Find the spark
A matchmaker can give you the tools for a fire, but it is up to you to get that fire started. All fires need heat, so when you’re just starting out, you’ll need to focus on the other person and draw them in. But that’s just part of starting a relationship.
That initial spark is nothing without kindling. Trying to impress someone without getting to know them will get you nowhere. You need to understand the context of who you are talking to if you really want to turn a tiny spark into a bright, fiery flame of a relationship.
Breathe life into it
Fire, like human beings, needs oxygen. Once you have sparked interest in one another, you need to build it up with life. While things like physical attraction might initially give your relationship heat, it’s the emotional connection that really gets that fire going.
It’s a delicate balance. Blowing too hard, or being too eager, may put that fire out. Don’t try to engage for the sake of engagement but be real with the process of getting to know someone. Understand that their needs may be different from yours and learn to adapt your breath.
Keep adding fuel
Even bonfires need to be maintained, as they will go out eventually without someone tending them. So, even if your relationship feels perfect, it’s not just going to be a coast through life. You have to add fuel to your relationship, just like you might continue adding a log to a fire.
So, remember the moments that keep a relationship going, like exciting dates, vacations, or gifts. Remember, though, the most important fuel for a relationship is probably the day-to-day actions. Small kind actions, or tender actions of affection can go a long way in your relationship.
Even with fuel, your fire will still need protection. Nature has a way of raining on us when we least expect it, and our fires can be smothered as well. So, don’t ignore your relationship, and recognize the things that threaten it. Are there things that trigger arguments that you know you should avoid? Are there things that upset your partner that are easy for you to help them stay away from?
Even the best relationships will face hardship at some point, but a few drops of water won’t put out a solid fire. As long as you keep an eye out, your relationship will thrive!