Gay dating advice

The Perfect First Date for Gay Man

The Perfect First Date

It’s a phrase that evokes mystery, or even doubt for some people. Does the perfect date really exist, or is it just one of those mythical creatures like unicorns, or the Loch Ness Monster, or Lady Gaga? While the perfect date may seem impossible, I’ll have you know that it is, in fact, real, and you don’t need to go on a dangerous trek to find it.
How do I know? Personal experience.

The perfect setting

Where you meet up is obviously very important when it comes to meeting the person of your dreams, and this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go for the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town. In fact, too glamorous might actually make your date worse, because it could make you feel like you have to impress someone or make you even more nervous.

The most important thing to consider on your first date isn’t ratings, or popularity, or trendiness, but the person you’re going with. No matter how cool the place you go is, the date won’t be successful if you don’t think about the person who you’re meeting. That’s why it’s always to get to know someone a bit before your first date!

The bar I went to on my first date with my current partner was nice, but it was nothing incredibly interesting. There weren’t even a ton of people in the bar. All of this is what made it perfect though. We were able to actually talk without drunk people yelling about a ball going in a hoop, and we felt like we could be ourselves.

The perfect activity

If you’re like me, then you’ve stressed about figuring out what to do on a first date. You want to pick something fun, but you don’t want to be the only one making decisions and feel like you’re being bossy. On the other hand, you don’t want to make it look like you don’t know what you want.

Pick an activity that won’t make it feel like you have to perform – but also one that won’t have you bored out of your mind. You want to find the perfect balance of having something to do, but also not something, that would make it hard to actually talk. Going on a mission to the International Space Station, for instance, might be a bit too involved for a first date.

One of the best dates I’ve ever had involved dinner and a walk along the water. While it was simple, there was something magical about being able to talk, but also not having to feeling the awkwardness of sitting still and staring at someone the entire time. Sometimes, simple is best. It might not be the most interesting activity – but in the end, the activity isn’t what’s important.

The perfect person

The perfect date does not depend on the food you eat, or how much you spend, or even on your activities. A burger might be great if you’re meeting up with a carnivore, but red meat on a date with a vegan or vegetarian probably wouldn’t be a good idea. The perfect date is whatever is natural and fun for the people involved!

Think about the person you’re going on a date with. Are they active? Pick an activity that involves lots of movement, like walking or dancing. If both of you are very talkative, then don’t be afraid to find somewhere quiet to meet!

When I first met my current partner, I didn’t go above and beyond to plan the most inspiring, beautiful date with a musical flash mob that would go on to win an Emmy. I focused on the person and channeled my energy into making both of us comfortable.

Sure, dinner on a boat or dancing under the stars might seem nice – but what makes a date perfect is the connection.